You know what really sucks? Like, "should I be having an existential crisis right now?" sucks?
Being asked about something that I'm proud of...and nothing coming to mind.
And then having to Google lists of examples because I seriously can't think of anything. That's just embarrassing.
Then a vague memory bubbles up...and my brain tries to dismiss it because it's not a big thing.
But then I decide to just go for it because I'm being coaxed into just writing something that had meaning to me and not worry about other people or how big it was.
So. Here we go.
My stomach was in knots when I was looking for the building from my car. Eventually I found the door tucked into a corner that I'd later learn the pizza man has a bitch of a time finding. I thought about going home...but I'd RSVP'd on the website and what if they held it up waiting for me? What kind of person would I be then?
Into the smallish office building it was.
Turns out it was bigger on the inside. I would have smiled if I had registered the thought but all I was thinking was about whether I went up the stairs on the left or tried the doors.
Someone made noise upstairs.
Might as well just ask before I went exploring.
As soon as my head popped above the wall/railing separating the stairway and the loft-type room, I heard, "Hi, are you Liss?" I nodded, thinking the pink hair was probably a convenient give away. "Cool, come on in. We're going to start in a little bit, do you have a character?"
And that was my introduction to my Friday night D&D game.
It had taken hours of arguing with myself. But I went. And I went the next week. And the next. Pretty soon I was one of the core group you could count on to show up with snacks and a bottle of Coke.
Social anxiety is a bitch, no matter what degree you have it at. Sometimes I'm fine but I've had many times where I show up somewhere new, sit in my car for a second, then drive away.
I must've rolled high versus my anxiousness when I showed up that night. And all I can say to that is thank the DM gods, because I hate imagining my social life if I would have driven away.
~Liss
Being asked about something that I'm proud of...and nothing coming to mind.
And then having to Google lists of examples because I seriously can't think of anything. That's just embarrassing.
Then a vague memory bubbles up...and my brain tries to dismiss it because it's not a big thing.
But then I decide to just go for it because I'm being coaxed into just writing something that had meaning to me and not worry about other people or how big it was.
So. Here we go.
My stomach was in knots when I was looking for the building from my car. Eventually I found the door tucked into a corner that I'd later learn the pizza man has a bitch of a time finding. I thought about going home...but I'd RSVP'd on the website and what if they held it up waiting for me? What kind of person would I be then?
Into the smallish office building it was.
Turns out it was bigger on the inside. I would have smiled if I had registered the thought but all I was thinking was about whether I went up the stairs on the left or tried the doors.
Someone made noise upstairs.
Might as well just ask before I went exploring.
As soon as my head popped above the wall/railing separating the stairway and the loft-type room, I heard, "Hi, are you Liss?" I nodded, thinking the pink hair was probably a convenient give away. "Cool, come on in. We're going to start in a little bit, do you have a character?"
And that was my introduction to my Friday night D&D game.
It had taken hours of arguing with myself. But I went. And I went the next week. And the next. Pretty soon I was one of the core group you could count on to show up with snacks and a bottle of Coke.
Social anxiety is a bitch, no matter what degree you have it at. Sometimes I'm fine but I've had many times where I show up somewhere new, sit in my car for a second, then drive away.
I must've rolled high versus my anxiousness when I showed up that night. And all I can say to that is thank the DM gods, because I hate imagining my social life if I would have driven away.
~Liss
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